Falling Back Into Myself

Welp...my first year of teaching so far has honestly not been butterflies and rainbows. I have been drained mentally, emotionally, and physically. I have struggled with my mental health, but also have had to put a big smile on my face all the time for my students. I come home and sleep and eat dinner and sleep some more. Life has been a struggle to say the least.

Two weeks ago, my school had seen its 5th teacher quit. This teacher was a fifth grade teacher with me and it was a wake up call to say the least. I can't keep only focusing on my students. I can't take care of the kids if I don't take of myself first. I have cried every day for multiple months to the point that I literally can't cry any more at times. I have wanted to leave but also am the most consistent person in most of my students' lives, so I stay. I destroy a small part of myself for them and I both exetremely regret it and would not change it at all.

That being said...I'm taking back control of my life. I am done trying to be the perfect teacher and am instead going to go back to being a person. I am going to do things I enjoy again like this blog. I am getting a realtor's license and sewing again. I am going to start to cook and enjoy my house. I am over feeling down. Instead I want to be weekend in Georgetown (that's where my boyfriend has been placed right now for work) Adelaide who can smile and mean it. I want to smile and mean it.

I'm sorry for such a heavy first post back and I promise that from here on it, I will be consistent and lighter with my content. Let's try this again!

Love you big,

Adelaide